In 1999, when I was eleven years old, my father died after a two year battle with cancer. Among the things he
left behind were hundreds of unmarked 35 mm color Kodachrome slides. The series, "Hour of Lead," is a dialogue I
have created between my own silver gelatin photographs and his color slides. Of my father's photographs, I chose
the images that communicated to me the strongest sense of loss and reminiscence.
I have very little memory of my father from my own experiences, but I have been able to assemble an idea of him
through other peoples' stories and reflections. Using the little artifacts that he has left behind – his
writings, letters, music, and these slides – I am able to create my own memories and ideas of who he was,
even though many of the slides were taken before I was born. While the slides have an immortalizing quality,
they also invoke for me an aesthetic of longing and melancholia.
Through photography, I am allowed insight into his world, and he can still be a part of my own. The photographs
in "Hour of Lead" are organized to create a narrative engaging nostalgia and grief by pairing his slides with my
own photographs. These photographs attempt to display the effect of losing him. Together these images depict both
his presence and absence simultaneously.
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